Just another day for my surgeon, that is! For me, it's an ending and a beginning. An end of overindulgence and at least many of the consequences of it. A beginning of healthier diet choices, exercising regularly(and with less pain), and shrinking to a size I haven't been since my teen years. Oh yeah, and STAYING there. To me, that's the great thing about the lap band. The effectiveness it can have in helping you keep the weight off. I have lost fairly significant amounts of weight over the years only to gain it back and then some. At light speed it seemed.
Hopefully it's also the beginning of accepting that no matter what size I am, and no matter how much weight I lose, there are a vast majority of people who are supportive and a handful of "others" who will discredit what I have done in saying(as some already have) that I'm taking the easy way out, or that I must have no willpower. That will always bother me to some degree, I guess. This is certainly no easy way out. I guess smokers trying to quit who wear the patch are weak, too. Nothing. I repeat NOTHING is easy about this. As I sit here at 5:45 PM I am on day 12 of consuming roughly 1/4 the calories per day that I'm accustomed to. In fact today(which is clear liquids only) I've had 2 bowls of chicken broth and a Powerade Zero. Maybe that's why I'm getting worked up here! And tomorrow I willingly realize my decision to never eat a huge meal again in my entire life. To possibly never eat a Ribeye, White Bread, Fried Chicken, Pasta, Peanut Butter and more EVER again in my life-depends on how I tolerate them. That's no easy way out for one so infatuated with food as I am. The value in weight loss surgery(vs. non-surgical weight loss) is not that it's easy, but rather if you follow the guidelines, your hunger will be severely reduced. And that is something ANYONE who struggles with their weight would accept. Please, if you hear someone express this complete lack of understanding refer them to the hundreds of lapband and gastric bypass sites and have them see for themselves how disciplined the successful patients are. FAR more disciplined than most of their critics.
OK. Enough of that. I'm probably going to read that last paragraph in a few days and apologize for the tone in which it was written. All that said, I am so unbelievably excited for this surgery and this brand new life. Mira, Sloan and Willow...I'll be able to play outside with you before you know it! Nate, Ty, Drew and Beth....Look out Worlds of Fun! Mom and Dad, you won't have to lose sleep worrying about me for much longer. You're as excited and thankful as I am. Probably more in some respects. What a gift for me and my entire family. You are all on my mind right now. I love you more than I can ever express.
Going on year 5 Joel, and it's still a battle but it's still so well worth it. I've gained some back due to having back surgery, it's coming off again, slow but sure. My best friend is getting ready to have surgery the first of the year. I know you've probably had alot of offers, but if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to holler. I found it was a lot easier to talk to someone who'd actually been through it and can sympathize with you because you so want to eat that hunk of meat but can't! :)
ReplyDeleteJoel, Im so happy for you. Like we talked about on the phone when you were wanting info its a whole new ball game but if your willing you can do it. I hear it all the time that "I took the easy way out" but it dont bother me anymore. I did what I had to do for myself and my family. Things will be just fine. Oh by the way I had a 6oz stake the other night didnt eat it all but it was damn good. lol. Just wait till you heal and in time you will be able to eat alot of the same things. The next few weeks will be really hard but you can do it. Be strong its all worth it in the end. Im down 190lbs its something to look forward too!!!!
ReplyDeleteNo matter what you do, there will always be someone who will try to tear you down/discredit you/minimize/trivialize/destroy you. For every 1 person who does, you have a multitude of others who will support/lift you up/encourage/comfort/congratulate you. The easiest way to identify your true friends is to go through something difficult.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the easy way out would have been to do nothing.