2 Weeks

My first fill is in 2 weeks. As I mentioned in an earlier post, hunger had really started to kick in. Well that has leveled off a bit and while I'm still eating more than I eventually will, I'm not starving by any means. And, I'm starting to fill up on less food again which is SO welcome. In 2 weeks, my hope is that my first fill is a success(it can take 2 or 3 to get it right), because if so, the weight loss will return in a big way.

What an emotional ride this has already been. I almost hesitate to share too much because it makes one so vulnerable. Some things should be kept secret, right? Of course, this is just mind manipulation to entice people to ask me to share:) What I will say is this. Most days, most of the time I am optimistic, energetic and encouraged by so many people close to me. That said, there are still so many reminders of how big I am, and how I'm perceived by some because of that. I've thought a lot about past relationships the past couple of days. Even the ones that didn't end so well. The main thought or feeling is not regret or bitterness. It's actually an awareness of how much I appreciate every beautiful girl I've dated who gave a very overweight guy like me a shot. The ones that didn't just think I have a "good personality" but also made me feel like a handsome guy from the chin(s) up who needed to lose weight for my health rather than only seeing a fat guy. Whatever wrongs that may have been committed(which I have documented in numerous songs:)) they are forgiven for that very reason. Hopefully my wrongs are forgiven, too.

I'm hearing Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias in my head this very second.